Under fading light brightened only by the obdurate defiance of Richard Kettleborough, Pakistan chased down 301 against Sri Lanka in the third Test. Aggressive batting by Azhar Ali and Tuk Tuk Misbah lent positivity to a day riddled with negative tactics from the Lankans. 

It began with their batting. Their second innings run rate was 2.10. They had a lead of 87 runs and yet post match, Angelo Mathews said he wanted his batsmen to be more cautious. In the 28th over, they were 66/3, scoring at 2.3. Perhaps a score of 66/3 in 40 overs was his target. Being one up in the 3 match series, Sri Lanka played for a draw. 

They bowled outside the leg stump, high bouncers and had, for the most part fielders on the ropes. If it were allowed, they would’ve probably treated the stumps as bowling pins citing Trevor Chappell as precedent. 

Thesaurus almost included the phrase ‘as cautious as a Sri Lankan cricketer’ which means ‘call a physiotherapist before getting injured.’ Fielders in unison began cribbing about bad light as batsmen hit balls past them for four.     

Their tactics were so negative that scientists feared for Earth’s polarity. At S.H.I.E.L.D, the Avengers were alerted of a huge concentration of negative energy around UAE. 

Fortunately, the Pakistan cricket team subverted the crisis by playing positive cricket thus making an entry into the Thesaurus, ‘As unpredictable as the Pakistan cricket team.’