Like all good horror films there are two villains.
One you really like.
The other you really hate.
One is cool and looks fun to be around.
The other looks boring, and you'd rather be killed by anyone else.
Obviously you have read between the lines and can see I am talking about the all rounders for England and South Africa.
There isn't much to like about Jacques.
He seems to have no common touch, no team ethics, he looks arrogant, seems to not try and dates woman that should no better.
Freddy is a man of the unwashed masses, plays for the team, looks like a top chap, is a drunkard, and his woman should be proud to play with his dark spot.
If you were picking a team mate to inspire you, fire you up and go to war with, Freddy would be the man.
Up until recently you base this on his bowling, and throw in the odd big innings and everyone would be happy.
But Freddy can't bat anymore, and tragically, Jacques is even out bowling him.
Freddy gives his heart out with the ball, and he seems to beat the bat as much as any bowler in world cricket, but no one tries harder for less wickets.
Jacques wobbles in, bowls at half the pace the Aliens gave him and knocks up getting wickets.
Freddy is feared as bowler, and Jacques is seen as intermission.
But in this series Jacques has had the greater say.
It's disgusting.
Freddy gives everything, Jacques gives little.
Perhaps the old saying is true, good drunkards do finish last.