Here is a question for you people, are the aliens taking the piss in Sri Lanka? Are they trying to stop the King (Kumar) from taking over the world?

The Galle ground, which was turned into a swimming pool after a CIA nuclear device exploded and caused the Boxing Day tsunami (also known as the Sehwag), is now ready to be used again in a test match.

But just to prove those aliens have a sense of humour, there are torrential down pours, which look likely to threaten the entire match.

Are the aliens trying to tell us that Galle is an area for swimming pools and not for cricket grounds?

Are they trying to make a joke about the English weather in a postmodern stand up comedic sort of way?

The weather and the grounds re-emergence are the focal points at this stage, which may be a great thing for England if they lose (possibility) or draw (that’s where I’d put my money) this test.

It was only a month ago people were saying Sri Lanka were pretenders.

England look like the side that played in the 2005 ashes, but they don’t sound like them, and they sure as fu©k don’t play like em.

KP hasn’t looked as hungry this series.

Vaughan is finding form, but he doesn’t look the like the damaging run machine of yore.

Harmison was once an inverted West Indian opening bowler, now he’s just inverted.

Ian Bell is good at foreplay, not great in the sack.

Freddy is off getting a titanium rod put in his ankle, it’s second hand, Shane Bond doesn’t need it anymore.

Cook is still a cook, not quite ready to be the chef.

Duncan Fletcher is the Brett Easton Ellis of the cricket world, showing us behind the ivory doors while trying to make himself look cooler.

I can't remember which keeper they are using this week, but it aint Chris Read.

And Ian Botham is a drunken buffoon, so at least that has stayed the same.

What happens to England if they lose this series, where shall they go from here, are we looking at a side that is working its way back to its Nasser Hussain/Mike Atherton form.

I do hope so, I miss those days.

At least then you knew you were going to get rubbish, none of these false hopes you get from their current crop.

Are Angus and Andy ready for a comeback?