| The Lord's resurrection |
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| Written by J Webb | |
| Wednesday, 05 March 2008 | |
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The South of England has
traditionally been the more disadvantaged area of the country, and
London especially has suffered from financial neglect.
Whereas money abounds in the lush green hills of The North, with areas such as Bradford and Darlington boasting of wealthy centres of cricketing excellence. But these cash-rich areas aside, the game of cricket in the South has been shamefully overlooked.
Now, at long last, the MCC seek to redress the balance, and invest £200 million in a much needed redevelopment of Lords. Although this is a paltry sum compared with the shed-loads of resources shifted Northwards daily, it is a start.
The plans released so far outline economical and totally worthwhile schemes to erect new floodlights and expand the capacity slightly. There is talk of installing an “academy”, even though no one is entirely explicit on the meaning of this, experts still believe the project to be a “not at all shit” use of public money. Indeed, it has been well over a year since the last multi-million project at Lords, and the ground has since fallen into disrepair. Anyone who has been to Lords will appreciate the poverty of the area, and the desperation of the spectators who shuffle about forlornly in diseased rags, barely able to understand the game. Such is their malnutrition. The redevelopment is part of the MCC’s bid to secure the Lords’ ground’s hosting of future test matches. Although, this is frankly pie in the sky thinking – the thought that the place can even dream of holding five day events before the dilapidated stands collapse is pitiable. Although Lord’s considers itself the Home of Cricket, cricket seemed to dislike the wall-paper and moved to Dubai some years ago. Nevertheless, David Batts, MCC’s Masterplan Project Director said, “Nearly half of MCC’s membership responded and there was overwhelming backing to support the improvement of Lord’s for future generations of cricketers, cricket fans and of course members.” A Lord’s spokesman responded by saying, “Ha ha ha. Can you believe these gulliable twats? Wahay! Let’s get pissed on Pimms!” (J Webb has this to say about himself : I used to flail predictable leg-spinners at batsman on TwickenhamGreen. Then they used to smash me for six. This dynamic was repeated many times. Now I hide behind words, where the pain of the constant tonking can’t hurt me, and where only lawyers attempt sneaky singles. Now, I have developed into the wizard spinner of written cricket; an unplayable googly in words. I have become blog, destroyer of careers) |
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