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Tuesday, 14 August 2012 15:37 |
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Contributed by James Roy
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(807 views) |
The English Cricket Board has dropped Kevin Pietersen for the next Test match because he allegedly sent a rude text about Strauss and Cook to the South African team. KP hasn’t denied it. We’re going to assume he has and try and figure out what KP must have texted that rubbed the ECB members the wrong way. Something derogatory about them would include ugly batting styles, lack of runs for Strauss, boring the people to death with too many runs for Cook and stuff like that. So KP must have said that Strauss is such a bad batsman that he could have starred in Michael Jackson’s album ‘Bad’. His captaincy is so defensive and poor that every country’s poverty line is above it. All he does whole day is shack up with Cook, who isn’t even a good slip fielder. Alistair Cook is an altogether different story. His batting style is as ugly as a foot affected by gang green, infested with parasites and a corn growing on it. His batting is as boring as a talk show with Manmohan Singh as the only person on it.
These are just some things that KP may have texted. Not us. KP is no better. He changes his stance as if he were changing the lead in a pen-pencil. Imagine if Obama kept changing his stance. Yes we can. No we can’t. Maybe we can. Yes we can. No, we can’t. Yes we can’t. Just make up your mind already. KP says one thing, his tweets say another and now his texts have come into the picture. Please keep one mode of communication. It’s like keeping track of how big Katie Price’s boobs are. Are they a 36D, a 32C, is he quitting, is he back, shit he’s been dropped, how much can you keep track of.
It’s good the ECB dropped him from the last Test. What a drama queen! Winning the best actor drama Oscar would be a cake-walk for him. KP, please KQ – keep quiet.
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Last Updated on Tuesday, 14 August 2012 16:02 |
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