| Cricket Quotes |
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| Written by HW | |
| Monday, 10 March 2008 | |
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The nature of cricket is such that it leaves ample spaces for life to ebb and flow. Wit and humour are its most obvious manifestations.
We’re collecting cricket stories from wherever we can, for entertainment and illumination alike. And we welcome any stories you can add to our kitty; drop us a line at This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it We’ll acknowledge every contribution we get. Cricket Quotes (You can also find some chuckles at Cricket Anecdotes & Cricket Jokes) The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey. - Brian Johnston, BBC Yorkshire 232 all out, Hutton ill - I'm sorry, Hutton 111. - John Snagge, BBC News Ray Illingworth has just relieved himself at the pavilion end. - Brian Johnston, BBC Radio Welcome to Worcester where you've just missed seeing Barry Richards hitting one of Basil D'Oliveira's balls clean out of the ground. - Brian Johnston, BBC Radio He's usually a good puller - but he couldn't get it up that time. - Richie Benaud, Channel 9 If you go in with two fast bowlers and one breaks down, you're left two short. - Bob Massie, ABC Radio This game will be over any time from now. - Alan McGilvray, ABC Radio It is important for Pakistan to take wickets if they are going to make big inroads into this Australian batting line-up. - Max Walker, Channel 9 Glenn McGrath joins Craig McDermott and Paul Reiffel in a three-ponged prace attack. - Tim Gavel, ABC News In the back of Hughes' mind must be the thought that he will dance down the piss and mitch one. - Tony Greig, Channel 9 It's been very slow and dull day, but it hasn't been boring. It's been a good, entertaining day's cricket. - Tony Benneworth, ABC Radio It was close for Zaheer, Lawson threw his hands in the air and Marsh threw his head in the air. - Jack Potter, 3UZ Laird has been brought in to stand in the corner of the circle. - Richie Benaud, Channel 9 Chappell just stood on his feet and smashed it to the boundary. - Jim Maxwell, ABC Radio On the first day, Logie decided to chance his arm and it came off. - Trevor Bailey, Radio 3 He didn't quite manage to get his leg over. - Jonathan Agnew, after Botham had spun around off balance and tried to step over the wicket unsuccessfully, BBC Lloyd's talking to his SLIPers. - Channel 9 commentator. Marshall's bowling with his head. - ABC commentator. The sight of Bright holds no fright for Wright. - Jim Maxwell and the riposte That's right! - Norm O'Neil And Jajeda is dijappointed...Jadeja is ji..da..I'll come again, Jajeda..okay Jadeja looks downcast. - Tony Greig on Channel 9. His throw went absolutely nowhere near where it was going - Richie Benaud Even Downton couldn’t get down high enough for that - Richie Benaud That slow motion doesn't show how fast the ball was traveling. - Richie Benaud There were no scores below single figures - Richie Benaud Fast bowlers are quick. Just watch this -- admittedly it is in slow motion - Ian Chappell. It is now possible they can get the impossible score they first thought possible - Christopher Martin-Jenkins. It would be unprintable on television - Geoff Boycott If England lose now, they will be leaving the field with their heads between their legs! - Geoff Boycott That was a tremendous six. The ball was still in the air as it went over the boundary. - Fred Trueman Then there was that dark horse with the golden arm, Mudassar Nazar. - Trevor Bailey David Boon is now completely clean-shaven, except for his moustache. - Graham Dawson The black cloud is coming from the direction the wind is blowing. Now the wind is coming from where the black cloud is! - Raymond Illingworth He is a very dangerous bowler. Innocuous, if you like. - England coach David Lloyd discussing Chris Harris The Queen's Park Oval -- as its name suggests, absolutely round! - Tony Cozier His feet were a long way away from his body! - Ravi Shastri You rejoin us at a very appropriate time -- Ray Illingworth has just relieved himself at the pavilion end! - Brian Johnston The lights are shining quite darkly - Henry Blofeld It is a catch he would have held 99 times out of one thousand. - Henry Blofeld It is a full house at the Eden Gardens. Today, Calcutta is celebrating the assassination of Mahatma Gandhi! - Henry Blofeld Cricket is basically baseball on valium. - Robin Williams, American actor Cricket needs brightening up a bit. My solution is to let the players drink at the beginning of the game, not after. It always works in our picnic matches. - Paul Hogan, Australian actor I don't know what these fellows are doing, but whatever they are doing, they sure are doing it well. - Pete Sampras on watching Lara and Ambrose at Lord's. Cricket is a game which the British, not being a spiritual people, had to invent in order to have some concept of eternity. - Lord Maycroft Many continentals think life is a game, the English think cricket is a game. - George Mikes How to be an Alien Personally, I have always looked upon cricket as organised loafing. -William Temple. Archbishop of Canterbury 1926. Q: Do you feel that the selectors and yourself have been vindicated by the result? A: I don't think the press are vindictive. They can write what they want. - Mike Gatting, ITV I think we are all slightly down in the dumps after another loss. We may be in the wrong sign...Venus may be in the wrong juxtaposition with somewhere else. - Ted Dexter, explaining away England's seventh successive Test loss, to Australia at Lord's, 1993 There was a slight interruption there for athletics. - Richie Benaud, referring to a streaker at Lord's, BBC TV Say, when do they begin? - Grouch Marx, watching a cricket match at Lord's It's funny kind of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan, it's when you realise that your wife left you in May. - Denis Norden, British television writer and compere Playing against a team with Ian Chappell as a captain turns cricket match into gang warfare. - Mike Brearley, 1980 Is there any sex in it? - Peter Sellers, as a psychiatrist upon first learning about cricket in What's New Pussycat, 1965 Q: Darryl, who are your favourite actors? Cullinan: Dustin Hoffman and some Aussie bowlers in the act of appealing. Q: What's your favourite animal? Steve Waugh: Merv Hughes. |
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