The nature of cricket is such that it leaves ample spaces for life to ebb and flow. Wit and humour are its most obvious manifestations.
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Cricket Anecdotes
(You can also find some chuckles at Cricket Quotes & Cricket Jokes)
Trueman's false claim
Here is another anecdote involving one of the regular stars of cricket anecdote history, the fiery former paceman Fred Trueman. Here it goes, as narrated by Frank Keating....
"... An umpire for that Kennington Test was a friend of mine, soft and gentlemanly old Gloucester luminary Jack Crapp. Just before he died a quarter of a century ago, Jack confided: "Always too full of himself was Fred, and in our playing days I'd not overcared for his 'bullying' attitude, especially his bowling nasty bouncers at some of the young county batsmen on the circuit. Anyway, once he'd got his famous 300th that day at The Oval, the last wicket of the innings, Trueman tried to grab the ball off me, saying he wanted it engraved for posterity. He began swearing at me, but I stuck to the letter of the law and said he'd first have to ask permission during the change of innings from the Surrey secretary Arthur McIntyre.
"He goes off in a huff to do this, and meanwhile, still annoyed in our umps' room, I just toss the ball into a large box in which there were already a dozen or so spare balls, all worn about the same.
"Then Fred barges in rudely demanding his souvenir, saying Mr McIntyre's given permission - so I simply go back to the box, dip in, and throw him the first ball that comes to hand, don't I? So I suppose there's a one-in-12 chance that Fred engraved the right ball."
- (Contributed by Ravi Singh)
The Mars bar and Boon
Playing a practice game in South Africa, Australia played Hansie Cronje's province. Cronje was at the non strikers end, with a plump batsman on strike. The 'keeper Healy passed a loud tip to Warne "Bowl a Mars Bar half way down the wicket...We'll get him stumped" The Aussies and Cronje were already in splits when the batsman retorted: "Nah, Boonie fielding at short leg will be onto it before I can move."
When Botham met Marsh
When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So Ian, how's your wife......and my kids?"
Botham - "The wife's fine, the kids are retarded
The day Pietersen got a school kid suspended
You may have found several Kevin Pietersen fans in the wake of the Ashes 2005 debauchery, but coming across fans of Kevin Pietersen's 'there's-a-skunk-on-my-head' hairstyle would be a little difficult. A 10 year old in England walked into his school after having gotten himself a Kevin Pietersen haircut. The school authorities promptly suspended him until he got his hair back in shape.We suspect they did so partly to penalize the indisciplined behaviour, but mostly because it was too ugly for them to tolerate.
A suspended kid is not usually happily received by his parents.But in this case, the next morning saw the kid and his irate mom land up at the school demanding an explanation from the authorities. As it turned out, she was a hair-designer and it was, in fact, she who had given him the new look.
When last heard, the issue was still undecided. Perhaps it may have helped if Pietersen stepped in himself. Or if England had retained the Ashes in Australia.
Shoaib vs Sehwag
During India’s tour to Pakistan in March 2004, Sehwag was on his way to a record-breaking 309 in the first test. A frustrated Shoaib Akhtar was not being able to trouble him at all. So, he began to bowl short pitched balls, which Sehwag just ducked under. Exasperated, Shoaib began to exhort Sehwag to hook – with exaggerated hand motions. After his third such“suggestion”, Sehwag loudly asked Shoaib – “Tu bowling kar raha hai ya bheekh maang raha hai?” (“Are you bowling or begging?”)
The Pakistani fielders broke into laughter, and Shoaib did not offer any more advice.
Oblivious Captain
Tom Goddard, of Gloucestershire, once bowled -- under heat wave conditions -- 42 consecutive overs. Finally, the guy was moved to complain of his unthinking captain. "Why the hell ! doesn't the bloody bugger take me off?" raved Goddard. At which point, it was gently pointed out, by amused team-mates, that skipper Basil Allen had left the field hours earlier. Allen had in fact asked a colleague to lead the side in his absence -- said colleague being Goddard himself!
Bitter halves
You may be a hero to the world, but to your wife you are just the bum she married. Ask the former Mrs Bhagwat Chandrasekhar. While the world raved about her husband's bowling prowess, she was least impressed. And when it came to his batting, she was even less so. Thus, the story is told of how, once, she called the ground while a match was in progress, and asked for her husband. "Sorry," said the factotum who answered the phone, "Chandra is just walking out to bat." "Oh, in that case," trilled Mrs Chandra, "no problem, I'll wait on the line!"
15 seconds of fame
The scene, Melbourne. The year, 1920-'21. A certain Mrs. Parks was sitting in the VIP enclosure, placidly knitting away. At one point, she fumbled and dropped her ball of wool. She bent, picked it up, dusted it off, and looked up. And realised that she had missed the entire international career of her husband, Roy Parks! The poor bloke, debuting in that game between England and Australia, was bowled by the only ball he ever faced in international cricket.
Doctor in the Clubhouse
W. G. Grace often had difficulty reconciling his love for cricket with his medical commitments. A patient once arrived at his office and asked an assistant whether the doctor was in. "Of course he's 'in'," the assistant replied, "he's been batting since Tuesday lunch time."
The downturned finger
Many Indians had the pleasure/ mortification of seeing this on live television in the 1990s. Vaas bowls to Jadeja in a one-dayer in India. There is an appeal for caught behind. The Umpire begins to raise his finger. Jadeja glares at the umpire and says something to him. The Umpire’s finger which has almost reached its apex, suddenly goes down and scratches his cap. A bemused Ranatunga walks up to him when he realizes the appeal has not really been upheld. Jadeja grins. Slow motion replays suggest that the Umpire changed his mind just before the conviction-challenged finger could give the verdict.
White coat, red face
Umpiring standards have come down in recent times. Or have they? Go back in time, 19 years, to the England versus India Test, held in Bombay, to celebrate the golden jubilee of the BCCI, a game famous for Ian Botham's rare double of a century and ten wickets in a match; and for wicket-keeper Bob Taylor's ten catches, another Test record.
What really made the spectators' day, though, was the officiating, by umpires J D Ghosh and S N Hanumantha Rao. Rao started the ball rolling when he gave Taylor out caught behind, only for Indian skipper Gundappa Vishwanath to confirm that the batsman hadn't got a touch. Then John Lever turned one off his pads for two, got back to his crease and discovered that he had knocked a bail off. He casually picked it up, placed it back on the stumps and carried right on batting, under the benign gaze of the umpires. The plum, though, belonged to Geoffrey Boycott. The England opener edged one, quite clearly, to Indian wicket-keeper Syed Kirmani. There was an appeal, and it was, quite correctly, upheld. Boycs, however, deliberately refrained from looking at the umpire, settled into his stance, and prepared to receive the next ball. The Indian fielders appealed again, rather hysterically. The umpire gave him not out!
Cricket Triumph
"King George of Greece was once bowled first ball in a cricket match at his private school. He never forgot the incident. It helped him, he said, to face the poverty-stricken years of his exile [during the German occupation] with more courage than he might otherwise have shown. It enabled him, he told friends, to treat the misfortune of his expulsion from Greece as a stepping stone to ultimate triumph."
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