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Just to show that the owners of these IPL franchises are completely nuts, Ashwell Prince was given 175,000 d’s to play.

I didn’t realise Indian millionaires were on magic mushrooms.

Fancy giving Ashwell money to play in 2020, he should be paying people to play in it.

I wouldn’t select him in a backyard game, where my only other option was the special needs kid with the wooden leg.

Ok so I am biased by the fact when i watch him bat I want to reach up my own @ss and pull out my lower intestines.

Sure in a test match, if you need someone to sit at the crease like a piece of petrified coal he is useful, but 2020, where you are to play like your overdosing on red cordial, Ashwell and his mittens are hardly the tonic to get Indian’s frothing at the mouth.

So I have this idea.

Dear Mumbai Indian chief,

Save yourself 75,000 smackers, I’ll come over for 100,000 and be an @ss clown on the field for you.

Put me in the first game, I’ll charge every ball,bowl beamers, sledge everyone, run around naked on the field, call everyone bastard monkey proboting weeds and then finish by hitting on the bollywood chick that owns that franchise.

If that is not worth more to the owners than Ashwell Prince fumbling around the crease like a crab on a volvo I don’t know what is.

Also I am willing to walk around with a kingfisher beers in my hands at all time, so some of that 100,00 can be paid for with product placement.

Remember IPLers. Cricket is a game, 2020 is a show, and Ashwell is a german existential play, whilst I am Vegas Showgirls number.

 

(Jarrod Kimber is also available on www.cricketwithballs.com. Click here to know more about him)

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